My Island.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Up--up--up--
Can only go up from here
Up--up--up--
Up where the clouds gonna clear
Up--up--up--
There's no way but up from here

-Up, Shania Twain

That's what I'm apparently trying to tell myself. For the past few days, psycho.M (as I shall now term my mind) has been attempting to motivate me with some mental butt-kicking plus several swear words. I must say it kinda worked...

I hate myself sometimes. For being so naive, for having limits I can't break in specific skills, for being so sarcastic, for leaving the comp, lights and TV on until morning wasting electricity, for taking everything for granted...damn it all!

I can tell when something deeply hurts me: I feel a chill travel through my body. That's how I've been sorting insults through with psycho.M. If I hear an insult directed to me but no chill, it ain't that bad. But when a really cold chill passes through, I know.

I think I'm turning heartless. Now there seems to be less twinges of chills, just a guilty feeling and then I preoccupy myself with another activity. Has being antisocial made me that way?

Oh damn. I'm trying to cheer myself up, but here I go writing some sappy sad post. Doh!

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind

It's gonna be a bright (bright),
bright (bright)Sun-Shiny day
It's gonna be a bright (bright),
bright (bright)Sun-Shiny day

-I Can See Clearly Now, Jimmy Cliff/Bob Marley

3/29/2006 08:50:00 PM

Saturday, March 25, 2006

219th post...

NCC Affirmation Ceremony at the Singapore Indoor Stadium from 3.30 to 5.30.

Started off with me, Celeste, Rebecca, Maryam and Liyana leaving early from PSL session so that we could eat lunch and have more time to change. Met up with Mr Chia at the foyer, where he gave us 15 minutes to change into our Air uniform.

The shoes are kinda stiff at first, so I walked around with my knees straight attempting not to crease the leather-like stuff on my shoes, which was futile. I hadn't prepared my beret earlier, so almost everyone was struggling to poke holes in their beret to insert the crest with whatever materials they had, including a nametag (mine), an OM badge (mine), a screwdriver (Julie's) and anger (mine). I forgot to bring my belt too, but...heck.

Then a little after 12, the NCC Land people came and fell in at the foyer. They looked more orderly and disciplined than us, probably because they had an intimidating CO and seniors, while we had no seniors...and a nerdy-looking CO. LMAO. XD

Finally arrived at SIS around...I don't know. On the bus Mr Chia ordered us to remove our watches since he had mentioned before that only people of higher rank are allowed to wear watches, for some unknown reason. When we arrived there, I got pretty nervous because the people there looked so serious and strict.

The Air group was led to the hall by an official who was wearing an Air uniform. I struggled to keep my face straight (to no avail). The official was walking so fast I could barely keep up, and Liyana and Tiffany were lagging behind. Only when another higher-ranking official passed by and saw the state of the hurrying, half-running cadets did he finally slow down at the official's order (greeted by sighs of relief on either side of me).

At the entrance of the SIS, we were asked to surrender any outside drinks we had, no reason given. I had a bottle of H-two-O in my bag, but I was unsure if that was outside drinks or not, so I just kept quiet. They didn't check anyway.

We were led down the stairs past the aisles to our designated spot. I hated going down the stairs. They had those metal bits sticking slightly out, probably to prevent people slipping or something. My sister was right: the heels of the dress shoes they gave us were too high. I stumbled thrice going down the steps, even worse when the official was going too fast again. At least I didn't trip...

We received our goodie bags. Inside was a 2005 copy of their publication The Cadet, a waterbottle, a bottle of NEWater, a calculator, a Yellow Ribbon from the Yellow Ribbon Project (the adopted charity this year) and the Cadet Handbook.

The Cadet Handbook had the lyrics of the NCC Song at the back, and since I had no idea how to sing it I decided to make up my own tune, much to the laughter of Yuen Shu and Liyana. "We are the NCC..." in a high-pitched voice.

Just before the official start of the ceremony, a group of cheerleaders engaged us in some friendly singing and doing the "Afirmation Wave", as they called it. After that, I decided to go to the toilet with Liyana. We had to go down a flight of stairs to get to the toilets. Our shoes went clip-clip-clip on the tiles, while the boys' combat boots made loud TOOMs as they skipped steps.

And as usual, I stumbled while going down the stairs.

While waiting for the ceremony to start, I observed the other officials going around in their various suits. The ones I liked the most was the NCC Air CLT No.5(J) uniform because it resembled that of a pilot's and the Sergeant of Arms' uniform because it comes with a sword. Could've sworn I heard the sound of a sword being drawn out and then replaced back in its sheath over the speakers.

The rest of the ceremony proceedings were boring, with the exception of displays by the rappelling squad, the HCI precision drill squad and the display of IFOs and a model airplane zipping around the stadium, doing tricks. The shadows on the wall caused by the IFOs caused me some trouble; if I saw an IFO in one corner, suddenly I'd be attracted to what seemed like another IFO in another corner, only to find it disappear. Got quite nervous at that.

The speeches were so boring I nearly fell asleep and had to ask Liyana to pinch me. Didn't work, so I gulped down some NEWater. Helped slightly, though I wished I had brought some sweets along.

After the ceremony, Mrs Ng led us out of the stadium to the parent-fetching area. My mom got us out of the area, and we headed to the bus-stop nearby. Had to walk down a long flight of steps (I was panicking). We skipped the first no 16 bus that came because it was too crowded. On the second bus, it was relatively crowded too. A few bus stops later, I looked at the front to see how my sister was doing, and saw...

OMG. Mrs Jaya Koh?!?!?! I smiled back...er...a little shocked.

Only when the bus cleared a little did I know the reason why she was in the area - her Secondary One son was also in NCC Air and she was fetching him home. Didn't know she had a son, or maybe I'd forgotten. Ah well.

Dropped off at Capitol Building to eat at Long John's Silver. My sister saw her friend there. I ordered a Chicken Wrap combo and nearly slipped on a puddle of water. Great. Those shoes give me trouble.

Took an MRT home. I kinda liked wearing my uniform. I don't know why, it's just kinda nice to wear something that's different from my casual clothes and my school uniform. Plus the shiny black shoes are cool.

Tomorrow my mom's bringing me to Wild Wild Wet cos of some promo they're having now. Gotta finish what I can of my homework later.

3/25/2006 08:28:00 PM

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

218th post...

I guess I still care in some way, don't I? It's weird, really. I've forgotten almost everyone, taken them for granted they'd be there always.

I.Hate.Literature.And.English. Well, not the subject as a whole. I mean the answering bit. You have to think through and analyse all the points, infer what they mean, so on and so forth. I hate that.

(This is probably the umpteenth time I'm ranting on this. Can't help it. Pops up so often.)

I mean, I read the book, I see the words, I know what they mean, I piece them together, get a picture, play it in my head as I read further, and I don't question myself thoroughly why the heck there's a firebreathing dragon in the corner or why the stranger at the back frowns as two unknown people talk. Automatically, I assume that the story is a fantasy story or the stranger just heard some unpleasant news, and I take it like that. No further questions, I understand, that's enough.

But nooo. They have to tell us to explain every bit and detail and annotate stuff. Yucks. I think I won't become an English teacher if they're this boring. GIVE IT MORE SPICE, PEOPLE!

I wish I could finally speak up and tell Mrs Loh that her lessons are boring. I'm just sitting down in a chair listening to some person speak and speak and speak. And I just have to sit there looking attentive and write down stuff, only moving my hands and fingers and swinging my legs. No vigorous actions. That is enough to make me sleep!!!!!

3/21/2006 08:19:00 PM

Monday, March 20, 2006

217th post...

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone...

Wowwee. Today I didn't go to school because the outing was for Chinese pupils only. Tomorrow I'm not going to school because the outing is for HCL pupils only.

Two days extra holiday. Niiice. I'll spend the time nicely doing homework, watching anime on YouTube, sleeping in late...gah! I'll be a zombie when school reopens properly. Learning Journey Week seems like another week's holiday, just with added activities.

Cooking the rice in another (supposedly 10 minutes) 3 minutes. Better to get it over with quickly anyway. By the time I finish this post, I'd have finished cooking the rice anyway, seeing as this sentence is taking me 2 minutes to type because of other distractions like reading and watching TV, to clarify myself in case some immature gits take it wrongly, which I know sometimes they might.

Well, even before the end of the post I finished cooking the rice. Ah well.

I never really have a lot of things to blog about. Everything seems so relaxed nowadays, or my viewpoint is just different. I think I'm acting too mellow in RGS. There are people there who irritate me, even up to the standard of Talkative Squirrel, and I don't do anything but endure it. Sometimes I do snap, but I don't go poking them with a mechanical pencil; I just keep quiet and they'll get the hint.

Maybe I should poke them with a mechanical pencil.

Nah.

Shouldn't. They'll go b**ch-slapping me next. I suppose that's why no one goes around doing that whenever they're mad.

And people DO say the word b**ch as bee-yotch or something like that. I watched "What I Like About You" this morning, and they were saying that word. It's weird.

I was reading this Malay book, and it's so sad. Nearly made me cry. So far, only one movie/book has ever made me cry, and that's A.I. The scene where the family duped the boy into thinking that they were going for a picnic, and then dumped him in the forest.

Well, the book is about this family with two twin boys. The mother favours one twin, and shuns the other, always passing snide remarks, hitting him whenever she could, giving better treatment to the other twin. The shunned twin bears with it, never fighting back, but he still does everything for his mother. One day, his father dies while buying new clothes for him. Three of his siblings have left for further studies, leaving his youngest sister behind with his mother. His mother seems to treat him better now. But while studying for his examinations, he argued with his mother for the first time, and to his surprise his mother disowns him. After telling his sister everything about the farm they live at, he leaves the house the next day.

Well, that's so far as I have read. I'll continue reading and blog the ending later, I suppose.

Edit:

I've always wanted to become the photographer for the Photo Hunt on Wednesday. Guess what? My wish came true. But at some expense.

Pearlyn, who was the original photographer, recently had an operation so she's not allowed to walk too much. And so, I became the photographer. So I'm not as happy as I want to be.

Still...

3/20/2006 06:13:00 PM

Sunday, March 19, 2006

216th post...

Not going to school tomorrow, because only Chinese pupils are going on an outing to some noodle house, and my group has already finished the MAD project so we don't need to go. I'll spend tomorrow finishing up my homework, getting ready for Photo Hunt and relaxing for one last time. My mom's gonna wake me up at 10 tomorrow. So I reckon I can go outside by 1 pm. Should plan a schedule.

I haven't finished my Literature and Science homework, but Science is easy enough. Literature requires some thinking, though. Aaaah...holidays I'm bored, school I'm bored...where the hell can I finally be NOT bored?

Okaes...let's try to plan a schedule...

10.00 am - Wake up
10.10 - Bathe
10.30 - Finish bathing
10.40 - Finish changing
10.45 - Breakfast
11.00 - Finish breakfast
11.10 - Start homework
12.15 - Finish homework by this time
12.20 - Computer time
1.00 - Either go outside to the library, or stay stuck inside with the computer.

Somewhat like that...or the timing could be earlier, depending on what time I sleep and when I get woken up. Most likely 6.15 am, seeing that whenever my dad or mom yells at my brother to wake up...I'm the person who gets woken up instead. Well, wouldn't do me harm to wake up early. Though I wish I could see the sunrise. Maybe, I could do a morning cycle to Sembawang Park and watch the sun rise, before cycling back and doing whatever I planned to do.

I wish.

3/19/2006 10:22:00 PM

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

215th post...

YO DODOHEAD! MR. NEVER-POST-BUT-YET-COMPLAIN-OF-OTHERS'-BORING-POSTS-WHEN-HE-HIMSELF-SOUNDS-LIKE-A-MINI-REPLICA-OF-MY-SCIENCE-TEACHER-PLUS-FIRST-DEPUTY-PRINCIPAL-WHO-ARE-SO-DAMN-BLOODY-LONG-WINDED-AND-BOOOOORING!

So what if my last post was so boring that you fell smack asleep on your keyboard and short-circuited it with your drool? So what if it was so boring you projected it onto the road where the drivers could read it and fall asleep within seconds from fatigue, causing a ten-vehicle pileup and making Dodohead here late for school thus giving him a solid excuse for sleeping late? You try thinking of something to write in your daily life then, dolt! Let's see how long-winded you are, trying to analyse every single point in a three-second event!

Man, I miss those mechanical-pencil-poking events. Made him squeal like a stuck pig. Hey, Dodo, an idea for your next post! Analyse every single second of your squealing!

"I concede that I am a girl, from the sound of my squealing. Research shows that girls' squeals start on a high note, rivaling that of mine, but mine is so much higher. Therefore does that mean that I am more than a girl? I must be a girl-girl, from my inferences."

THERE! INTERESTING ENOUGH FOR YOU, DODO-DOLT-HEAD?!

Sheesh.

3/15/2006 07:55:00 PM

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

214th post...

Lamenting that I live in cyberspace again. Damned holidays, though it does give me a chance to stay up till 3 and wake up at 1. Ohoho.

Eat sleep computer eat computer eat computer sleep. My day during the holidays goes like that. Tonight or tomorrow I really have to start my homework. ^.~ I'm a self-proclaimed procrastinator.

Welcome to nonsensical post number one.

Forgot to post this on my blog for ages. A week ago or something, during Philosophy class, we were discussing about the movie Shrek. Then we were discussing stereotypes, I think, and the topic of a stereotypical kidnapping came up. Jing Xuan's idea of a kidnapping was...

This person gets kidnapped and kept in a dark room. The kidnapper sends his daughter in to take care of the person, like send him his meals and stuff like that. Eventually, the person will fall in love with the daughter and escape together.

And I asked her, "What if the kidnapper has a son instead?"

3/14/2006 06:53:00 PM

Sunday, March 12, 2006

213rd post...

I still can't shake off this feeling that I just don't belong here. There's always a fault in me that people want to pick on. I leave the lights on, I do my homework late, I sleep late, I do nothing...this and that and this and that. BLOODY HELL! JUST STOP FRICKING PICKING ON ME WILL YOU BLOODY IDIOTS!

And I'm typing very fast as I write this post because I feel that I need somewhere to express my feelings, and I need to let go of this sudden burst of energy fast. Later I'm going somewhere. I don't know where I'm going, but it better be somewhere.

I wonder why I'm so antisocial. Why I lack social abilites. Well, now I know. It's because of oppression from a disparaging family that keeps me locked inside!

Shit, I just wanted to write that for the fun of it. XD

Ah well, I've decided to go to the library today. Get some books, buy a Slurpee or maybe some Old Chang Kee, and go back home and eat while reading. I used to have a tendency to eat while reading because...it just felt right.

Oh yeah...before I forget...

HAPPY 200TH POST, MICHELLE! Heh. Now I'm only 13 posts higher than you. Oh, I just have to post more nonsensical posts to get ahead!

I'm sure you people go to YouTube.com right? Well, I saw this really weird SAF ghost video. An officer was going around filming people on duty. Then he met this person doing a four-hour shift, and it was a full moon at that time. "Romantic", he called it. Suddenly, they heard shrill laughter in the air. "What was that? What was that?" They even radioed the guard house. Then something in white appeared beside the gate. The officers all ran behind the safety of the barrier, exclaiming "What the f**k is that? What the f**k is that?"

It's surprising to see SAF officers being scared of ghosts (I mean, you see them all the time right? And you hear numerous stories about them right?) and even more so they use the F word (then again, you hear them in the hundreds in war movies).

3/12/2006 01:08:00 PM

Saturday, March 11, 2006

212nd post...

Got woken up at 8.30 am today by my mom who was trying to wake up my brother. I fell asleep again, and was later woken up by mom handing me my handphone. It was Denise, saying that she had overslept, and would be late going to YCK. I asked her what time it was, she answered 9.25...and I told her I overslept as well.

Arrived at YCK pretty much OK. Had a little mixup though, thought that Deen was waiting outside, so I went, but later she called me and she was on the platform. Had a good strangling because of that.

She didn't change at all. Though now I'm somewhat as tall as her. Yay! XD (ButJaneistallerdammit)

We arrived at CHIJ St. Nick's (was damn easy to find, seeing how big it is). Met up with Jane at her class stall. Creampie-creaming. Throw it at someone's face. We got Jane to show us around her school. It's way bigger than RGS. but tiring to walk from one end to the other, isn't it?

We bought some food and drinks, walked around, had a little rest before deciding to ride on something called a Super Fun Dancer or something. Basically, it's just this row of seats attached to a motor that goes in a circle up and down real fast. The three of us rode it three times (cos it was sooooo nice!).

During the first one, I screamed the longest and shrillest I had ever screamed. I was practically being thrown about in my seat. The second time, Denise dared me to sing an anime song on the ride. The second ride was very slow, not all exciting as the first one so I managed to release both my hands from the railing and raise it over my head. The third time was the best. I finished singing the rest of my song, and the ride went really fast. It was sooo cool! Jane was dared to raise her hands because she had a seat that had both a seat belt and a buckle, unlike me and Denise who only had a seatbelt. But she didn't, cos the ride went very fast. I was singing very loudly, and Jane turned to Denise saying "Muni's singing!" before she realised Denise was singing loudly too.

I met Celeste at the fair too. She said this was her former school, so she came. Was really surprised, never expected to see any RGS girl there.

I saw some students cosplaying. Three were wearing kimonos and one had a paper parasol with her. Another pair were cosplaying as gothic lolitas, complete with frilly blouses and lacy skirts plus matching umbrella. So cool...wish I could cosplay...

I hope I get to meet up with Denise and Jane soon during the holidays to do something nice, like going to a theme park or bowling. Things become nicer if done with friends!

3/11/2006 05:49:00 PM

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

211th post...

I feel so isolated sometimes.

Like I don't fit in. At school sometimes I don't fit in. At home sometimes I don't fit in. If so, then where's my piece of the puzzle?

Gym assessments today was OK. Managed to do everything. Computer Studies was OK. Malay test sucked.

Tomorrow I have History test. I will fail it. Apparently, I have a lack of rational thinking and ability to put across points properly, which is a BIG factor in stupid History. I think I'm gonna drop it as soon as I can. Stupid History.

I've decided to give everyone in my family the silent treatment today. I was stuck in the bathroom when I forgot my towel, and I yelled very loudly (and I can yell, excuse me). But no one came to my so-called rescue. Eventually, some deaf idiot did come, and handed me my towel.

So far I've only uttered one word, and that was "What!".

My mom has gotten the hint that I won't be uttering a word to her or anyone else. And she went "Waste my energy talking to you!" Well, excuse me, Madam! I didn't ask you to speak to me, did I?

At this point, you may think I'm a temperamental idiot. Wow, how did you guess? Spot on, people. I can go from crazily chirpy to downright dour. And I used Dictionary.com for that.

Blog ya later on more updates of the Silent Treatment. Dum dum dum...

3/08/2006 07:52:00 PM

Monday, March 06, 2006

210th post...

Yes I haven't posted for ages.

Stupid darn teachers. Don't they know that some people just cannot sit still and listen to some droning for 1 solid hour?! Why do you think I always appear bored and sleepy in class? Because they're so sleep-inducive! Can't you at least make it more interactive? More upbeat, like how Mrs Mohd does it? More interesting, like Mrs Sia? Not so droneworthy like Mr Segarra! Does NIE have these special classes called Boredom 101? To teach teachers to be so ZZZ? Arrgh!

I say, if I become a teacher, after one week I'm gonna give out a survey. How interesting is my lesson? Improvements, suggestions...be honest! I would love to know how the students think! Not just teach and teach and turn those pupils who were like me into drowsy mush!

STUPID!

3/06/2006 07:47:00 PM

Thursday, March 02, 2006

209th post...

I'm gonna miss a TV show I wanna watch...but luckily I've already watched that bit. Phew.

IT Club for the merit people is officially over...but I've decided to stay on for a while more. Cos if I leave, then I'll feel lonely without Jaz and Grace. Anyway, it's nice being in the company of friends.

And if I leave now, my mom's nagging would get to me faster than a speeding bullet. n_n so...staying in school it is. anyway, not like there's homework to hand in tomorrow is there?

learnt about QuickTime VR just now. Jaz's iMac went bonkers on her, so she had to shut it down and watch me and Grace with our iMac instead.

after that we had some free time, so us being the usual druggies-on-crack that we are during IT Club, we toyed around with ActionScript and this time...the script was more explicit than our previous one. o.o

the previous one included the topic of...well...a 30-year-old guy falling in love with an 8-year-old girl. this was purely unintentional, however, we only knew the ages of the voices when we were able to access the Speech panel of the iMac. oops.

this one included an 8-year-old girl jokingly being hooked up to an alien being, however the alien argued that the other started it first by sneaking into his room at night, claiming it was a thunderstorm. er.

feh. -.- I feel the need to get a Slurpee and eat some strawberry jam tarts. Or blueberry jam pastries. Sigh...yummy...

Mrs Sia let us have our Maths test in the library! She agreed readily cos our classroom was blisteringly hot. So we got to do our test in the luxury of the air-conditioned library! Har! The test was OK, but me being me, had to leave two questions blank. n_n

Awww...Samurai 7 is ending next next week, but rejoice! It's being replaced by Witch Hunter Robin, I heard it's a good anime, so I should be looking forward to it! XD

Tonight there's American Dad and Father of the Pride, including anime. Can do my hw later!

3/02/2006 05:47:00 PM

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

208th post...

I am currently in school right now, Computer Studies going on. We are learning about animated GIFs. I have done an animated GIF before, but using layers by layers. Now I am using frames. I have the needed pictures with me now, since I uploaded them from my email some weeks ago to do the animated GIF.

Updating my eye GIF. hopefully it'll work. signing off.

3/01/2006 11:40:00 AM