My Island.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

280th post...

My dad has bought a new graphics card for his computer, and he has sold me his old one for $25!

Even though, yes, the card is second-hand, but...my Sims 2 works better! It's faster, and the clothes in the Family screen are so much clearer! The hair is still a little off, but definitely less pixelated than before.

Although I have no idea why Luciel keeps running up to Laika and shoving her. As far as I know, Laika never did anything wrong to Luciel. Maybe Luciel had her eye on Questin. Cos I intended to make Laika and Questin a couple, and I spoiled Luciel's little fantasy? Hey, my Sims weren't intended to have that much free will! Next time I play, a little payback is due...

I don't wanna go to school tomorrow. Monday blues? With CCA on that day...though tomorrow CCA starts later than usual at 3pm, and we're wearing no 3. Which means we're probably only doing drills. Later is PT as usual. Maybe we're even starting on our aeromodeling!

My Bio model is halfway complete. I still have to do the writeup tomorrow though. Not to forget Maths PT and Malay PT. I decided to name my carnivorous plant "Leafium Deceptia". It's a plant that deceives animals by looking like a normal plant or maybe camouflages as a rock or the sea, then gobbles them up. Ooo.

Damn. I'd better finish the model by 9.30, then do my Maths and chiong my English letter by 11. Then I can play the Sims 2 til like, 12, then starch my uniform's collar, iron my uniform and pack my bag.

At this rate, I better stop blogging. Sigh...I'm gonna look for a new blogskin too while I'm at it. Know what? I think once I finish my Comp Studs Portfolio, I'll use the template to make my own blogskin. Because the template is super, in my opinion.

7/30/2006 08:41:00 PM

Saturday, July 29, 2006

279th post...

Had my IMT yesterday. Went horribly.

The chamber itself where we were taking our test looked awfully ominous. I was very nervous. To my horror, when the target came up on screen, they were goddamn small. Shit, when I thought they said the target was small, I didn't know they meant that small!

The instructor chose me as an example to the others of what to do. I scored pretty well on my first try, with a grouping of 27 cm. To tell you the truth, I was aiming blindly. I couldn't see the target in my scope. The instructor had already warned us that those wearing spectacles would have a damn hard time shooting, and I did.

The only time I ever saw the target was in my fifth cartridge.

It went pretty OK, apart from an IA I got. Becky also had an IA the same time as me, so we both raised our hands. The Specialist who came over asked, "Which one of you is IA?" and we're like, "Both of us?"

In the end, all seventeen of us failed. Someone even managed to get a grouping of 1000 cm, which is practically impossible because you'd have to be aiming at the other side of the room to get such a distance! 85 pushups coming our way...

Hooked on The Sims 2 again. Hoping to get an expansion pack or improved graphics so I can see things more clearly. Mine's too pixelated for my liking.

7/29/2006 03:17:00 PM

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

278th post...

Nothing much happened today. 'Cept the Geog test, which I found to be pretty OK.

I don't get why some people cried after the test. Overexertion? Stress? Cry-cos-everyone-else-does? I felt the opposite. I felt...HAPPEH. =))))

Comp Studs was OK. My entry page was finished, just a rollover image in the middle. Oh, how I'd love to add another picture instead of "enter" to spook the hell outta those who visit. ^^ Hoo boy. I think I should do that.

The cover page was turning out extremely well. I just need the header, and then I can reuse the template for the rest of the pages. Mine's a dark theme, since I only used the colours black, grey and white. I guess I'll use a picture of an eye or a lone tree in the horizon for the header.

I didn't do my Malay homework cuz I had no bloody freaking idea how to do it. So Cikgu "punished" me by making me and the others who didn't do it either to present an article from the week's Berita Harian. I did okay, albeit quite haltingly.

Tomorrow I've got IT Club, I still haven't finished the bloody freaking iMovie project! Feeeh! *$&%^$&%^$! On top of that I am now addicted to YouTube. Phoo!

Had the trip to ACM Empress Place today. I completely forgot about it! I thought that I would finally have a homework-free (if I had done my Malay =.=) Wednesday to kill by playing Sims 2, but then...

but the trip was pretty cool. The guide was nice, and the place was cool too. We were the only group (Group Six) that toured the West Asia gallery, because the guides weren't supposed to bring us there. But Si Rui pointed that we had a task to do there and so the guide showed us around.

Today I also finally realised that I had been writing my Chinese name all wrong for the past few weeks. It's Meng Ni, not Meng Ne as I had been writing. ZOMGWTF. It was written in my notebook all along. ZOMGWTFBBQ.

Ah crap. I can finish my Malay later during anime or whatever. The rest of the time...slack and go simming.

Oh, and the class aircon is fixed! I shall become the Munirah popsicle again.

7/26/2006 07:53:00 PM

Sunday, July 23, 2006

277th post...

Went to my little brother's Family Carn yesterday. Saw quite a lot of my old friends, and even my super-old crush. From when I was like, P2?

Now I can't even think of what I saw in that guy. Huh. Maybe I'm as shallow as everyone else at that time, only considering looks and not about the soul within. In GE, it was better. I mean, I thought of their personalities more than their looks. Which in turn, admits that I actually had crushes in GE.

Deep thinkin'. Hm.

I am back to being hooked on The Sims 2. I have some...life stories planned out in my mind, and some of them include being based on my favourite fanfiction. None having a rating of M, naturally. I don't go for lemon.

Arrgh! I am feeling damn stressed. I need a Cadbury Boost. Luckily for me, tomorrow's NCC Air training is cancelled, so I can relax at home for one day! I am gonna finish my homework and play Sims 2~!

Oh, not to forget, buy a Cadbury Boost or any choco bar, and top up my ezlink card. And go to school tomorrow early. I had a damn near close shave on RHD when the effing 190 was bloody late.

Homework is still undone! MUNI!

Bathe, eat, play, whatever until 10.30 pm. Then start on the homework required to be done by tomorrow. OK?

7/23/2006 08:55:00 PM

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

276th post...

I haven't posted in ages.

So many things happened in the past week, but I shall only touch on the highlights and then the stuff of yesterday.

Highlights:

I came across this snippet on Shi Ying's blog that well...you know. So I got mad and wrote this lengthy post being all angsty and mad and...stuff. I never realised how many people read my blog. And in the end, I upset Ling Xi and Cheng Ee in the process as well.

I felt really guilty about it, and decided to make it up to them soon. But I kinda patched things up with LX and CE during Aesthetics class, and I guess Shi Ying and I eventually warmed up to each other again.

Jing Xuan had no idea about that post. I told her about it, she didn't seem to mind so much. Thank goodness for friends like her. She sorta understood what I felt, and told me not to pay heed to such comments so harshly next time.

I felt loads better after that. But the day before Open House, when the whole lot of us were setting up our booths, Mish approached me and said "NCC Air is check (sp?), NCC Land is good!". I had no idea what that meant, but I had a nagging suspicion it didn't mean anything too good.

Also, NCC Land took a considerable amount of time to get the groundsheet up on our booth. Me, being the paranoid bitch I am, had several unsettling thoughts gnawing on the inside of my mind. I thought that they knew about my outburst, or that they wanted to get back at us for our poor performance at NCC Day. Out of spite.

But as it turns out, they had run out of groundsheets. See? I told you I was a paranoid bitch. Paranoid, skeptical of others...that's me! Not that I'm proud of it; it makes me do things I regret enormously later on.

Today:

Racial Harmony Day party. Mama bought samosas for me to bring to school.

I admit I was hasty. I forgot to remind Mama that I had to bring them to school today, so she had to cook them last minute. I got frustrated because I wasn't able to arrive at school early that day, and became irritable. On retrospect, I shouldn't have. She did that for me, only for me to snap back.

I hate my personality sometimes. I can list several vices that I have, at the end of the post maybe.

I found out a lot of people like samosas. Namely Nancy and Joni. Aiyaiyai...the samosas finished quickly though. First round through and they were all gone. But Mama only had 20-something, so I suppose that's why.

NCC Air was OK. Half the time was devoted to learning about aviation. The other half was basically PT and learning how to handle a rifle properly.

Damn it, that marksmanship badge is damn hard to get! Pass = >6.00mm. Marksmanship = >4.00mm. WTF? CLT Koh said she got 1.8-something mm. Her senior...wah shiok man! 0.6mm! OMG! WTF? BBQ!

She expects from all of us at least a pass. Cos CLT Scott will be there.

Oh ho ho! Another problem with our squad. We read too much into things.

The first time we met Scott, he told us to tell CLT Koh "a very good friend said hi". We're all like...a "very good friend said hi". Boyfriend? Maaaaybe...

And CLT Koh told us to tell him the next time we see him, that he still owes her a dare. That is, to french-kiss a guy. Hahahaha! She said he still hasn't done it yet. But she kinda amended it. To that he could french-kiss a girl if he wanted to. And I recall someone saying, "Why not kiss her?"

See! We gossip too much!

And today, when I reached the bus stop, I saw Julie and two fellow squadmates giggling madly to themselves. They're pointing to somewhere in the distance and telling me, "Look! Look!". I saw CLT Koh walking with another guy. They said it was the same CLT from the Open House. WTF?

"He's even carrying her stuff for her!" "He was waiting for her outside the gate!" "They're crossing the road!" *rolls eyes*

Pearlyn was there too. She asked me if I wanted to go to Thomson Plaza. I hesitated, because I felt pretty tired and I was sure there was homework. But in the end, I went anyway. Pearlyn wanted to buy a card for someone, and we both ate Burger King after that.

I guess, sometimes, you just have to slow down and take a break. There's an experience I know I would be missing if I didn't go. Deepening your bond with classmates and friends...

So now I've blogged. I still have my Chinese penmanship to do, so tata!

7/18/2006 01:47:00 AM

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

275th post...

I have heard from others, about friends who badmouth their own friends behind their backs. About friends who backstab each other. About friends who pretend they care, when they don't. About friends who pretend they're your friends...

...when they're not.

I heard it from others. And all I thought was, grow up! Don't trust anyone. Don't trust those motherfuckers. Trust in only yourself and God. I thought I'd stick to it. That sticking to it would lead me in the right direction.

No.

Eventually I succumbed to that comforting feeling you get when you're around your good friends. Those whom you joke with, have fun with, share thoughts with...

...and I let my guard down. I let go of the thing I tried to believe in. I trusted them.

No one ever did badmouth me, as far as I know, behind my back. Perhaps they did, long ago, but I'm not one to hold grudges so long.

Never had I a bad egg amongst my friends. Never. Not until now.

I never knew about it. I thought it was simply gone, abandoned like the rest of them. But I guess a new year comes new resolutions. Like maintaining the blog you ignored for months. A blog is a novel way to release stress accumulated, in this case from the transition to Secondary One.

Sometimes I trust my gut feelings. At that moment, I did. I felt a sense of hate emanating from them. Not exactly hate; perhaps dislike, a sense to prove us unworthy, to prove us as the insignificant struggling beings we are. The imperfect ones. The weaklings.

I never really thought it to be true. I thought it was my imagination. Just my overactive, paranoid imagination. My inferiority complex.

It nagged at me though. But I pushed it to the back of my mind. I didn't care what they thought. Go ahead! We will be the revolutionary ones. The non-conformists. See if I care!

I did. Badly. I read that little snippet and my view suddenly turned blurry. My mind was racing, my breath shortened...my mind was in turmoil for hours after that. I kept thinking about it. I see; we are different.

Now I am determined more than ever to get that marksmanship badge. I want to prove to NCC Land that not all of us Airs are as weak as you think we are. Just because a good deal of us are small-sized doesn't mean we are wimpy.

Look at Celeste! Look at me! Do we fall out of the running batch just because we are tired? We run! At quite a pace too! Even if it's slower than you, we still hold on. We can have as much determination as you do, thank you very GODDAMN FUCKING much.

CLT Koh doesn't want us to turn into you. Low-voiced, obsessed. She just wants us to be disciplined, good in what we do, obedient enough, but we still have fun! F-U-N!

I am going to get that marksmanship badge. I am going to try.

7/11/2006 10:51:00 PM

Sunday, July 09, 2006

274th post...

Well, I visited the Rosyth GE forum and blog recently. As stagnant as ever.

I ranted on the Rosyth GE forum about the disappointing turnouts of various so-called meetings held. And the advice I put across. Read it!

After watching Sleepy Hollow last night, I logged on to my computer and was not surprised to find Teesh and Flo still awake. Their conversation with me last night was one of my favourite convos ever. Those two are the best slacking buddies one could ever have, and they're very supportive. Well, more Flo than Teesh, but still...with those late-night chats, I get to know those two better than at school, even though Flo sits in front of me, and Teesh at the back.

Did you know two days ago was LOL Day? 7.07, at my watch, appears as LOL when turned upside down. I'll blog later when I find new things.

7/09/2006 03:20:00 PM

Saturday, July 08, 2006

273rd post...

I swear, I hate NCC Day. Hate, hate, hate!

For the fact that we, the NCC Air batch, suck ass at drills, and that we were only informed of this whole shenanigan only two days before...

And that I had to wake up super early just to get to school by 6.45, which I didn't...

I got to school 'round 6.50, had to run back to class for my beret and dash to wherever the heck I was supposed to assemble. Everyone else was already there, and the Staff Sergeant was already there too. I had no idea what to do, so I just hung around the back putting my gloves on. Only when she had gone off did I quietly slip in.

The freaking parade was a total fiasco. For me, I mean. Our sedia and senang diri were out of time, our marching was floppy, and worst of all, we forgot keluar baris. I swear, I could hear the giggles from the onlooking students as we marched past. We marched too fast, we almost crashed into Land, our berhenti was sluggish...

Shiing said that one of us took off our beret while we were still standing in front of the whole school. I don't know who, I was trying to stop myself from looking around. The person reading the NCC Day message stumbled over the words at the start, I had to stop myself from grinning.

At the hall, we were supposed to sit up at the Gallery cos we weren't allowed to sit on the floor. I had that distinct feeling that NCC Land weren't too glad to see us up there, or should I say, at that moment, I thought they hated us.

They, the perfect ones, sat up straight throughout the whole assembly, their hands on their laps, clenched. Us, the slackers, slouching, talking, sleeping (in my case), in general, not paying attention.

I think I hated them.

Not really their personalities, just their standard.

History test was OK...

After that I stayed behind to finish my WGP annotation and Lit PT. At the same time, SPM was going on. Abah was gonna be there to meet Mrs Loh and Mrs Mohd. I mistook the meeting for Mrs Loh as 5.30-5.45, but instead it was 5.00-5.15. So by that time, Abah would've driven off already. So much for worrying.

Math PT is nearly over, just left Mandi and Sarah to do the remaining. Talia and me, luckily enough, did the analysis, the easy bit. Conspiracy!

7/08/2006 04:13:00 PM

Monday, July 03, 2006

272nd post...

Playing Pokemon FireRed while procrastinating on my homework. =.=

Heard from Shiing that WGP is extended til Friday. I hope it's true! Cos the reflections are hell to write.

I'm lucky today. In Safari Zone, I caught Lv23 Exeggcute, Lv26 Rhyhorn, Lv30 Nidorino, Lv22 Goldeen by mistake (named it Golgi) and pa-pa-pa-rrraaaa...Lv22 Dratini! I'm never gonna let it evolve into Dragonite, because it looks damn ugly. Which is why my Oddish has not evolved into Gloom yet. Because Gloom is even uglier.

Procrastinating!!!! That's it! At SEVEN, Muni, SEVEN, do your homework! Pokemon can wait, OK? OK!

7/03/2006 03:08:00 PM

Saturday, July 01, 2006

271st post...

Today was a goddamn sucky day.

Main point of today was my spectacles breaking. Due to the fact that my father stepped on it when it fell to the floor last night.

This is downright ironic. I see Muna's spectacles always falling to the floor when it slips out of her hand and I go and pick it up so no one would step on it, but no one picks up mine. Sheesh. Next time, I shouldn't pick up others' spectacles for them. Let someone step on it.

I was woken up by my parents shouting and my father saying that he didn't feel like going to work anymore because I just wasted money by him stepping on the goddamn spectacles. So resign already then! Let me and my siblings work while you stay at home like last time!

I'm the main moneywaster, aren't I? I forget to switch off the stupid TV and I accidentally fall asleep. I stay up till 2 using the computer. I always bathe with hot water. My specs change every year. Yes, I'm the main bloody moneywaster.

As I inspected the broken pieces, I realised I could fix it back with screws and pliers. Twist the twisted parts back into place, and use a screwdriver, screw the pieces back! But noooo...my parents think otherwise. They'd rather waste money getting a new pair than letting me fix it. I know it can be fixed. They don't.

That's what I feel different for. I feel that I can think of solutions to problems they think are unsolvable. I think out of the box. They don't. At least my little brother has some inkling of problem-solving in him. He told me that he knew it could be fixed too. But my mother took it to the spectacles shop I think. I couldn't find the pieces anywhere.

That settles it. I'm not paying for the new spectacles if there is any. I could've fixed it, just that they didn't let me try. It's their fault if they claim that I should pay for it. At the most, I'll pay half.

I locked myself up in my room for the most part of the day. I didn't eat or drink for 20 hours, until I finally gave in and ate the Chicken Rings my little brother stashed near his bed. Know what? I still feel ignored. No, I am being ignored. Not that I feel it.

My mom deliberately wants to make me feel guilty. Sheesh. Like I'm not guilty enough already! She's being such a...

Right now, I am using Magnifier on the computer to aid me to see the words I'm typing. Like a nearly blind person. Technically, I am. My myopia is pretty bad.

I had a spooky feeling just now when I woke up from my sleep. I felt that I couldn't move my limbs or my neck. I couldn't move any part of my body at all. In my panic, I thought I suffered a stroke or something that afflicted my movement. But I rolled over to my side and miraculously I could move. I experienced the same thing twice in that same sleeping time.

Either it was my dream/imagination or it was true. I'm not sure, but it was frightening.

I guess, as replacement for my glasses, in the meantime I'll use my old pair. I still can see properly with them.

GODDAMN IT ALL!

7/01/2006 09:10:00 PM